Into The Wild...(Series 1)

Time 2:30 am place: motel (Pittsburg)
I was trying to sleep, but I am unable to.
Suddenly I realized that i didn’t wished one of my friend, and thought how I can forget a friend whose presence in my life made lot of difference.
And I opened laptop and kept message and stuck with idea of writing something...

Well well...Wat can I say abt this trip every moment is so specious and joyful.
I always thought I had uniqueness in me to convince the people for a trip
hiding my personal interest and profits, and it is one of those trips and last being to Colorado Springs in fall break`08..and Vegas and LCH in `07& Goa being the first in 2003.This is 4th diwali i am celebrating in USA, 1st being the best and 3rd being the worst fallowed my 2nd and 4th.
If you would ask me to describe each diwali with one word, I would say
First diwali-Pleasant.
Second Diwali-Distrubed.
Third Diwali-worst.
Forth Diwali-Joyfull.
for all four diwali`s one thing that doesn’t changed is my wish..., which is still in pending. I have a gut feeling one day it will come true,
Even I know it is impossible.

I always thanked god for being so kind to me, the way he allowed people shower me so much love when i am around and so much blame and hatred
When I am not around. Experiencing both the extremis made me iam what iam today. And the best compliment I got was Jovial in nature and fun to be around
And worst being "Untrustworthy fellow".
Yeah, wat you read is true, iam called "untrustworthy fellow" may be not one time and believe me its deals with so much pain when you hear it.
And funniest being Lazy star (Susthu & Sushanth) after noticing my heights of laziness (and truly I admit it).
I started blogging has a habit to control my emotions as advised by one of my friend when I was in a bad phase of my life.
He noticed my command on human emotions, when he first read some of my writings’ on friendship and missing someone.
The writings which gave me tremendous satisfaction were on email phishing and call recorders,
Being affected my personal life with email phishing and I see it has a dangerous weapon on planet.
it devastated my life so much that it made a U-turn and my friend(s) opinion on me hitted rock hard -ve`s and all happened in matter of hr`s.
And i had no control over the things happened and my uniqueness didn’t helped me out.
And my journey into the wild started. Still I am unable to discovery myself.
Hopefully one day I will...
I write when inspired by real incidents, experience, or a scene from a movie or lines from a song.
And last lines I am inspired by
When you smile, I smile with you,
When you cry, I feel it too,
You are my soul, my heart coming out to you,

Be my eyes when I can’t see,
Be my voice when I can’t speak,
Be my life when darkness creeps on me,

For full lyrics visit http://mydummies.blogspot.com/2009/10/lyrics-of-couples-retreat-sajna-rahman.html (FYI music composed by our own ARR)
I personally feel, everyone in their life said, written or thought to someone same words for once.

And my fav lines which I written is "Heart says yes and Mind Says No", which came out of my mind when I was down and out.
And also I want mention a incident which made me to think abt my lifestyle, one of my senior and 3 junior gals who studied with me are died in road accident in April, one gal among them used work together with me in a pizza place. What they have done wrong, nothing may be god doesn’t want to see them separately because 3 out of 4 are engaged and due for marriage in next 6 months and I feel like their friendship won over the death, So death may come in many forms any time like shown in final destination movie. So iam decided to do things which will make happy for me and my friends, few of them was traveling and reconnecting with my friends, which is kind of impossible …
And from past 3months one incident made me to reconnect with one of my good-old-friend. Talking to him gives me a immense satisfaction.
And I guess it is called life connection, disconnection and sometimes reconnection.

Being unsuccessful, I didn’t blame rescission or any individual because I had my drawbacks.
And I feel iam sole responsible for my life today.

So many people influenced and directed my life and they are, My Brother, Cousin and my friend (supposed to be friends and i want everyone of mine friend to identify in it)
For me my brother is like my father2, who gave me so much, which I can’t express in words.

And Last but not least I miss my mom so much...
And “Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about”

And my Journey Into The Wild Continues....

Good Day, Good Night